Late. As in the Late Bloggin' Translator.

Good (after)noon, y’all!

One of our colleagues has got himself in big trouble. Cpl. Wassef Ali Hassoun seems to have gone AWOL in Lebanon – or so thinks our illustrious Secretary of State. She wants to bring him back to the U.S. and ask him a few questions about his buddies – which seems all right to me. The first thing you learn in translator school is “friends don’t let friends translate for terrorists”. I’d like that on a bumper sticker, I really would. If Cpl. Hassoun left his post because he was being asked to interpret for torturers, well, he did exactly the wrong thing. How’s about equipping each of our military colleagues with a great big WHISTLE to blow, when they’re asked to do thinks that go against U.S. law and basic ethics? Blow the whistle, guys, when there are problems. Like Sibel Edmonds did. Don’t go AWOL, it’s bad for your health.

A case in point is Dear Leader’s attempt to use an interpreter while playing politics with Italy. As is widely reported, Mr. Bush had a press conference after a meeting with Italian are-you-kidding-this-is-who-you-made-prime-minister Silvio Berlusconi and made a comment about the Dubai port-control deal – then asked his interpreter not to interpret it. Does he think this will endear him to the Italians (who oppose the deal) or keep the information away from his counterpart? No way, Mr. B. The faux pas hit every news story in the world. We all know what you said. If you want some privacy for a particular message, perhaps a news conference isn’t exactly the right place, mmm?

Interpreters were in short supply on Maui last week. A possibly-venomous snake was loose in Wahikuli village, and there was a witness – but he couldn’t talk to the snake geeks because – oops! – they had no common language. Phone interpreters, anyone? It’s easy, you dial one of the leading providers, state your language and Bob’s your uncle – you can find out if you’ve got a public hazard or a cute little snake. In our multilingual world, phone-interpretation should be accessible to all local authorities, just in case someone gets a snake in their garden, don’t y’all think?

The Big Apple has the right idea: the city is expanding translation and interpretation services to allow parents full participation in the education of their children. What’ll cost more, d’ya think? Keeping parents informed or jailing the drop-outs as they grow up? Dollar per dollar, every investment made in education will save us on prison costs, I’d bet. So unless you’ve invested your retirement in the private prison industry, give a cheer for the Apple and maybe write your city council about it, too, if you’re feeling political.

But maybe politics are a bit much for today. I’m tired (already!) after a long session interpreting between a very nice young woman and a gorilla. I’ll leave you with the East African, where Tabula Jingo, Kiwa, Kasule Moses, Ssali, "Prince" Joel Nakibinge and Shokhau have become celebrities by making translated remixes of cinema classics. Gosh-golly, that’s art of the people, by the people.

I’ll be back earlier tomorrow than today, promise; and maybe I’ll give you my impassioned speech about straw-man arguments, if you’re lucky.

Over and out!