Toss The Kitty – The Definitive Rules

Let’s get things clear at the outset: no cats are actually tossed in the game of Toss The Kitty. In fact, tossing a cat disqualifies both players for an entire week (for first offense), month (second), or for life.

With that out of the way, I propose a scoring system for the delightful (but sometimes intrusive) presence of the feline administrative assistant blessing your office.

The point of the game is to control the clear space between your keyboard and your screen. The cleaner and neater the desk is, the easier things are for the feline participant. Owing to the nature of the game (controlling space) and participants, it is something like playing Go with thumbtacks.

To start, begin working on a project. Your opponent’s goal is to occupy as much desk and screen space as possible. Yours is to keep this space clear and catless.
Cat gets one point for every time he (or she!) obstructs your vision or sits or stops moving on the game board. Cat gets five points for every time he sits or lies down on the board. You get one point every time you evict the feline contender from the space (nicely). Cat gets twenty-five points if he falls asleep on the board. Cat gets two points if you get up from your chair to provide him with treats, food, water, or toys (have them in your desk drawers before the game starts). You get five points for completing your work, time, or project with the board under your control.
Double the points for a rush-rate project, and during the last twenty minutes of available working time (before the kids get back from school, before a dentist appointment, etc.).

With love for Mikey, RedHat, and Cisco, my three winners.